Relation | In India | Outside India |
| Mother-in-law | A woman capable of making your life miserable. | A woman you never fight with, because where else you will find such a dedicated baby sitter for free? |
| Husband | A boring human species, who listens more to his mother than you, and orders you around to serve him, his parents and siblings. | Still boring, but now a useful human species that comes in handy when the house needs to be vacuumed. |
| Friend | A person whose house you can drop into any time of the day or night and you'll always be welcome. | A person whom you have to call first to check and make sure he is not busy. |
| Wife | A woman who gives you your underwear and towel when you go to take a shower. | A woman who yells at you not to leave tub dirty when you go to take bath. |
| Son | A teenager, who without asking will carry your grocery bags from the market. | A teenager, who suddenly remembers he has lot of homework when you start mowing the lawn. |
| Daughter | A lovely doll, who brings tears to your eyes during her marriage. | A lovely doll, who brings you to tears long before her marriage. |
| Father | A person you are afraid of, and who is never to be disobeyed . | A person to whom you pretend to obey, after all he is the one paying your college tuition. |
| Indian Engineer | A person with a respectable job and earning lots. | A person without a secure job, who always dreams one day he will be rich. |
| Doctor | A respectable person with OK income. | A money making machine, who has a money spending machine at home called "doctor's wife". |
| Bhangra | A vigorous Punjabi festival dance. | A dance you do, when you don't know how to dance. |
| Software Engineer | A high-tech guy, always speaks in American accent, always anxious to queue in the consulate visa line. | The same hi-tech guy, who does Ganapati Puja everyday, and says 'This is my last year in the US (or wherever)'every year. |
| A Green Card holder bachelor | the guy can't speak Hindi, parents of good looking girls are dying to hook him, wears jacket in summer, says he has a BMW back there. | the guy can't speak proper English, wears jacket all the time, works in a Candy store at Manhattan , dreams of owning a BMW |
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Relationships: India Vs Overseas
How To Scare People On An Airplane
If you traveling by an Airplane and if you wanna scare people or just the next guy sitting with you then just follow these instructions:
1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Start up the laptop.
4. Make sure the guy who is sitting next to you, can see the screen.
5. Close your eyes, tilt your head up to the sky & move your lips as if praying.
6. Then hit this link.
I'm sure that guy would just run :o)
Wife Definations by some famous personalities
David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Socrates
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Anonymous
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
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